I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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