hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
