The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
