after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
