Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
