all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
