I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
