I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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