So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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