I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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