What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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