SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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