I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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