i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
