we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i only shaved half my leg
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow