I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i wish my penis had a tongue
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
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In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.