I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
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If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
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My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.