Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
