Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
