hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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