my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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