i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
