It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
