yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
