All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
