mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize