Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
is it fun? or sober?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
