He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
