Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
