So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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