thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize