2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
This house was built for laser tag.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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