i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
