Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
