what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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