trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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