I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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