you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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