I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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