i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
