Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
