Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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