i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
