Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I want to fling myself into the sun
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
