I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
