last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he thought i was a dude.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
