he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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