Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize