And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
