Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
