That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
