So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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