i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
