i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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