you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
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Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
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He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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