remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
