would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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