I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
two words...techno handjob
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
