Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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